Lifted

I ought to suck it up and stop whining. I hate my present state. 

So I’ll be moving to wp. (ask me if you want!)

Bye tumblr. 

People come and go. I probably have expected it, but a little part of me still held on to a faint hope that I could still make it in time. 

Till now we have yet to find out where he’s worked. We thought we’ll ask the next time. We forgot that tomorrow never comes. 

As a food blogger that’s just starting out, I need to get into the habit of taking photos of my food! (: A DSLR will probably make my task a lot easier, but my DMC-TZ7 shall have to suffice! 

So this is the ugly birth of my darlings. But hey, it’s my first time making bread, or anything with the semblance of bread involving anaerobic respiration of yeast, so forgive me. 

This bears slightly more resemblance to the orange marmalade rolls I was aiming for! Not in the best form, but nonetheless, a first try! :D And they’ll get better heh! (: Taste-wise they’re marvellous! That’s all I need to know (: 

Somehow, trees have a way of evoking contemplation. It’s a starless, cloudless night as usual. Perhaps it was the emptiness and desolate quality of the lonely evening that prompted me to pull back my feet and notice the lawn of trees that have shot up to amazing heights these past few years. 

It was only perhaps 10 years ago (yet how recent it still seems!) that the trees were first planted in my neighbourhood as part of some adopt-a-tree programme, and that I would pluck off its leaves and watch amused as the sap oozes out, and then attempt to tickle my friends with the irritating milky substance. They were still puny little stubs then, given that I could reach it from my miserable height, yet now they have all risen to the skies, each tree taking on a different character, moulded individually into their respective silhouettes by the elements of nature, some thriving while others barely surviving on their few bare branches.

How tall and unreachable they are now. It seems almost to highlight the distance that has passed between then and now. Even the trees have matured faster than I have, and I can’t help but feel small and inferior compared to their staggering heights.

Life just pushes you on a conveyor belt and you’ve no idea where you’ll be sent to next…When was the last you paused to smell the roses? 

Thinking positively, this was my last chance to screw up at a medical interview (: There were things unsaid that I wished were said, and things said that I wished could be permanently effaced from the memories of the panelists. Then again, maturity is the recognition that I don’t need anyone’s acknowledgement to convince myself of my intentions and character attributes. At least I know what I’m doing is real and not for the sake of entering a medical course. I’ve no need to prove to anyone that my desire is genuine. As long as I know myself that it is, nothing can taint my experiences (: 

Perhaps this is just a self-defense mechanism that I’m practicing on myself, but whatever the case, when life throws you limes to make lemonade, add a dash of sugar. I’ll get stronger. 

I love how you can simply get lost in a piece of music, appreciating its nuances and subtle phrases and indulging in its polyphonic texture almost to the exclusion of hitting the right notes (: It’s just a feeling that sweeps over you and takes over your reality such that you enter a trance-like state, surrendered to the melody and emotion. And it’s this feeling that I wish to hold on to forever and ever, whatever the future may present me (:

I’ve been spending way too much time ogling at food. I swear this is the last. Or maybe not. But I’m really craving for Curry Wok now and all the camaraderie as we fought over the dishes haha! :D 

Phad Thai was awesome. The rain was a mood dampener, and perhaps some dishes weren’t to our taste, but otherwise the Mango fish and Phad Thai was just pure love! The fish was crispy and huge and savoury whereas the phad thai was…how do I put it? pure phad thai goodness! Now I’m craving for Lewu too! <3

And next stop? Probably gonna devour the whole Maxwell Food Centre with our department and Old Airport Road on my own! Or I’ll drag someone along. Okay, but I’ll need to keep a close watch on my ailing pockets too. They’re thinning like nobody’s business. 

I’ve been noticing stuff a lot recently. Too much even, perhaps, and I need to wake up again. Perhaps I’ll be just content playing the role of Dr Love for the rest of my life, mediating and fostering relationships for others and spreading the message of love. That works too (:

/

It feels so surreal that I’m probably going to become an aunty in 9 months, and that my cousin is going to have a real established family! It took a while for me to get acquainted with the fact that he’s really married, and now he’s going to have to take on the added responsibility of becoming a dad! It’s a really strange prospect to even imagine, that that guy whom I used to look up to as a big bro is gonna upgrade his title soon to that of “dad”!

Somehow things always feel so unreal when you first get to know of them, but yet when kids enter the picture, there’s an extra responsibility and the situation becomes irrevocable however hard you resist it. I guess I’m just feeling pensive. 

Now I truly feel lifted (:

Definitions do matter after all, it seems. And certain activities are perhaps really the result of some divine intervention.

Then again, everything’s subject to interpretation, and it is possible to contrive and understand everything from a “God-ly” perspective even if the issue at hand is perfectly secular. 

Whatever the case, I’m really glad for this outcome(: 

Attended Corrinne May’s concert today with Kay and Smiles. Loved the meaning behind her songs, but now I love her solid vocals and down-to-earth personality even more! (: Unlike most singers who appeal with a cool personality, she bothered enough to care about the audience sitting at the back and the whole session felt really intimate, as if she was simply sharing her passion for music with us in a casual setting. (Okay, not that casual given that it was a Catholic church and everyone was really silent save for one guy at the back, but nonetheless!) 

I guess what really struck me was her sincerity and genuineness. Very few singers can pull that off unless they are really who they portray themselves to be, and I could really feel that emanating from her (: Her songs speak of her daily observations from her religious studies and from life, and though they tend to take on the same mellow quality, I think it’s precisely that soothing melody and heartfelt lines that really appeal to me (: 

Crooked lines, mmm really looking forward to it! (:

Just noticed CY’s bucketlist tucked in a quiet corner of his blog and unsurprisingly, his consists mostly of activities he would like to enjoy with his significant other. Inevitably I began to wonder about my own: What would be important enough that I would not be able to RIP without? I can’t come up with a complete list yet, and I reckon it’ll only evolve through the years (do I even have years to speak of? Okay, cut the cynicism from dabbling with oncology too much! Sometimes I wonder if I’m more go-for-it recently ‘cos I’m afraid I won’t have time or life for all the million things I want to pursue later.)

My Bucket List

• Make a difference to a few people’s lives. I don’t ask for much. Perhaps I’ll adopt a child, or a dog. (Animals are lives too, fyi)
• Giving voice to the voiceless - literally, figuratively. 
• Pursue a passion through to the very end (:
• Be the best mum that I can be and have a really close-knit family founded on love and trust. (But that contains too many assumptions in itself so it’ll probably just get KIV-ed till I die.) 
• Leave a mark somewhere, anywhere
• Live true to myself and the higher ideals I aspire towards
• Reconcile some broken ties and tell some people I’ve always loved them no matter what else I might have said
• Overcome some mountain with my significant other (if any). Alone’s fine too. 
• Visit Kenya as part of MSF (I still believe I was destined to take French for a reason).

It’ll be interesting to see how this list grows, but for now I’m content with what I’ve got (: And back to being an OL.